8 great tried and true tips to help you find a man that has long-term potential. I have listened to hundreds of women talk about their dating experiences and horrors. When you’ve heard that many, you can see patterns. One mistake many women make is to give the guy too many second chances. Any guy who’s mature enough to be dating, and emotionally available for a relationship (not just a booty call) should have certain things mastered. There are no excuses, and no exceptions.

Build up enough bad experiences and it can sour you. Who needs it? In neuro-science, they talk about “what fires together wires together.” This is about brain science. If you have 3 relationships where it goes bad, those wires tend to get hooked together, and it means more will come. So take care of yourself. Wire up good experiences!
HERE ARE SOME THINGS TO WATCH OUT FOR:

1. Not being mature about sex.
The big question is when, and that’s a personal matter. If he doesn’t respect your wishes, he isn’t mature enough to be in a relationship, or isn’t really interested in one. In other words, if it seems like that’s all he’s interested in, that’s all he’s interested in. Make sure you’re reading on the same page about the intimacy if you get involved. You don’t want it to mean something to you, and mean nothing to him. Cut Scorpios a little slack on this one, cuz you know how they are.

2. Ogling other women when with you.
There is simply no excuse for this. It is the poorest of dating etiquette. If he can’t control himself to avoid this (I don’t care if “that’s the way men are”), he doesn’t have what it takes to have a relationship. Aquarian males are bad about this, but they can learn.

3. He doesn’t seal the deal.
If he is taken with you on the first date, he should ask you for another date right away. He should certainly give you evidence that he enjoyed it – a txt msg or phone message the next day. If he waits too much longer, he isn’t that interested and he’s just calling you because he’s found time on his hands, and doesn’t know what else to do with himself, or he’s ambivalent. What we’re looking for here is honest enthusiasm. Give your Pisces sweetie a little bit longer.

4. Excessive flattery regarding your looks.
It’s nice to hear you’re beautiful or gorgeous or sexy. Once. Maybe twice. More than that and he’s either that shallow, or he’s saying what has worked for him in the past to seduce women. He should move rapidly to talking about inner qualities, interesting movies, the scenery, or something of interest. Complimenting you on other qualities is nice, too – like how organized you are, or how well you’ve thought something through. You aren’t just your body and you need to be getting evidence that he knows this. Otherwise, send your boobs to dinner and you stay home. If he’s a Leo male, he can do it 3 times. Ok, 4. (It’s what they do because they love it so much themselves. Make a note of that.)

5. He’s not a good conversationalist.
Marriage, I always say, turns out to be an 8-hour car ride with no radio. Hardly likely these days, but you get my point. This includes showing a sense of humor. Conversations need to be guided, and he should be able to do this as well as you can. They should also be give-and-take, with true interest in what the other person is saying. He should not talk AT you or deliver a lecture. This shows ego-centrism, lack of social skills, or both. It won’t get any better. Cut your Taurus bull a little slack on this one. They tend to be quiet.

6. He talks about his ex, his broken heart and other traumas.
Stringers are usually ambivalent. They’ve been hurt and the wounds are still running sores. They don’t want a relationship, they just want a woman (any woman) to ease the pain. They don’t really know what they’re doing except for wanting sympathy. If you feel a pull to be his therapist or his mother, or to “fix” him, resist it. If he can’t talk about anything else but his nasty past and heartbreak, don’t mistake it for vulnerability. What he is doing is talking about himself. He is not available and he is also extremely selfish. Geminis, well they talk, and if any sign they can go with one while still a bit attached to the other, but pay attention. It has to be subsiding.

7. He has only one functioning “brain.”
And you know which one I’m talking about! Look for a man who is interested in relating to you both mentally and emotionally, not just physically. If you’re a Scorpio female you may have a little trouble with this one, so keep it in mind.

8. He is too agreeable.
On the other hand, if he agrees with everything you say, he’s trying to get you into bed. Easy is sleazy. Look for a man self-confident enough to have opinions that he shares with you. He doesn’t clobber you with them, or act like they were the gospel truth and you should be taking notes while he tells you. This applies too, to setting up the next date. If he says, “Whatever you want to do,” uh oh. He needs to be able to orchestrate this, make the plans and carry it out. If not, there’s something wrong with him. And be sure and ‘get this’ if you’ve been married. Yes, in a marriage, the wife does all this. Don’t act like a wife until you ARE one. If he’s just out of a marriage and still in that mindset, he isn’t ready to date. This is a key point. He has to show you he’s standing squarely on his own two feet, and willing and able to do the work of dating (i.e., a relationship). If your last bad love affair was with a fixed sign (Scorpio, Leo, Aquarius or Taurus) that wasn’t too evolved and you were rubbed raw by that domineering personality-thing, you may find this appealing. Don’t.

The thing I want you to avoid the most is another bad experience. Compatibility charts can help a lot, and readings periodically, to help you see the things you might be missing. I know it’s hard when when a Virgo has you capture with those beautiful eyes! May all your dates be happy ones.

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