By Marnia Robinson

Marnia is the author of ‘Cupids Poisoned Arrow: From habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships’

Want to use your relationship to de-stress? Try something playful and totally unfamiliar: three weeks of brief, daily bonding behaviors.

Humans are pair bonders. That means an ancient region of our brain is wired slightly differently from the 97 percent of mammal species who don’t pair bond. We’re built to register regular, affectionate touch and close, trusted companionship with a mate as especially soothing and rewarding. (If you’re single, you can get a lot of the same benefits from friendly interaction with your pals. Remember the hugs!)

If you have a mate, let mutual affection ease your stress. For example, research shows that cohabiting couples who first engaged in hugging and handholding had lower heart rates and blood pressure when subsequently facing intense stress (spontaneous speaking before an audience).

Often couples make climax the primary goal of their intimacy, in part because it feels like orgasm is a stress-reducer. It’s true that it briefly lowers sexual tension. What’s really happening, though, is that dopamine, the “gotta get it” neurochemical, rises during arousal and then drops at climax, offering fleeting relief.

Orgasm reduces cravings, but not necessarily stress. Warm affection, however, measurably reduces stress. Social support, such as smiling at each other or offering a reassuring hug, reduces the prime stress neurochemical: cortisol . In contrast, lab tests show virtually no drop in cortisol after climax. The difference probably comes down to the “cuddle chemical,” oxytocin. Couples who exchanged more warm touch showed rises in oxytocin and greater improvements in multiple stress-sensitive body systems. The husbands, for example, had significantly lowered blood pressure.

Daily affection with a trusted mate can also improve your outlook. How? Oxytocin turns down defensiveness and fear in your brain’s primitive amygdala. Bingo! Your mate looks better and more loving–at least to you.

In short, your relationship is a goldmine of anti-stress “meds”–if you know how to work it. So, even if you don’t have time or energy for sex, make sure you exchange daily affection!

What are these behaviors that de-stress couples? It looks like they’re the same ones that strengthen their emotional bonds. Talk about convenient…

They’re surprisingly powerful–yet far more effortless than vigorous lovemaking. Evolutionarily, these “bonding behaviors” are closely related to the cues that bond mammal infants with their caregivers before weaning. In couples they look different, of course. And the good news is that we adult pair bonders can use them to sustain bonds for life.

The key point is that all mammals are deeply wired to respond to these signals, whether male or female. Our sensitivity to them evolved long before language or logic, so these signals bypass our rational brains and operate subconsciously.

Bonding behaviors rely on actions to work–and quantity matters. For example, dads who have lots of contact with their kids during a play session produce more soothing oxytocin than those who have little contact. This suggests that couples, too, benefit from frequent affectionate touch. Loving each other isn’t enough. Nor will occasional passionate sex do the trick.

Typical bonding behaviors between couples include skin-to-skin contact, gazing into each other’s eyes, wordless sounds of pleasure and contentment (“mmmmm….”), occasional gentle intercourse (orgasm optional), warm hugs, providing a treat or favor, gentle stroking, synchronized breathing, kissing and so forth.

Want to experiment with using a few weeks of daily affection to de-stress? Try this collection of playful activities for couples, all of which incorporate bonding behaviors. Most take just a few minutes, but can be extended if desired. Here’s a sample:

Have your partner lie face down on the bed and gently relax your partner by stroking up the spine from the sacrum to the neck for several minutes. Switch roles.

Keep in mind that bonding behaviors are not foreplay. Foreplay increases sexual tension. Bonding behaviors work because they help relax the brain. So do them just for their own sake, purely to de-stress. See what you experience. Again, to gain their full benefit, do them daily (or almost daily), even if only for a few minutes.

Bonding behaviors can be great news if you have been over-stimulating yourselves with particularly exciting foreplay techniques or viewing today’s extreme porn. Paradoxically, too much of a good thing can temporarily dampen the pleasure response of the brain. A few weeks of bonding behaviors help return the brain to its natural sensitivity and simple pleasures once again become fulfilling. It’s then easier for you and your partner to make each other purr with contentment.

Why not find out how enjoyable and relaxed life can be after a few short weeks of generous, affectionate exchanges?

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com

By: Guest Contributor

Relationship advice and questions about one’s love life are perhaps the most popular and frequently discussed topics amongst curious individuals and their psychics. However, psychic readings about relationships aren’t just necessarily limited to questions and answers about romantic interests or soul mates, or the lack thereof, but they may also pertain to other types of relationships such as between you and your boss or co workers, family members, or friends.

Ever since we were able to communicate with one another we human beings have interacted with each other on so many different levels and varying degrees of intimacy that we often miss all of the clues or answers to our most pressing questions despite their obviousness. But, psychics are either trained or naturally able to tune into our energy sources on such a deep level of understanding that they pick up on those answers that have evaded the rest of us.

Some people turn to psychic readings for answers to their innermost questions, whether it’s about a new love interest and if they would be a good match or not, or also for times of trouble during their current relationships. It’s no secret that finding true love and maintaining a healthy relationship can be difficult for many of us, so turning to an authentic psychic for a reading can be one way of greatly helping the process along.

Psychic readings can help us tune into the answers we may already actually know but that are clouded behind feelings of self doubt, inadequacies, uncertainty, and all of the other emotions and feelings that tend to get in the way of our happiness. Some people inadvertently sabotage their own relationships by a serious of subconscious actions and patterns.

Thanks to the advent of modern technology, people can now receive relationship advice through psychic readings without ever having to leave their homes, as many psychics are able to operate remotely, or via the telephone or computer. This also allows for readings to be done regardless of where the client or psychic lives and gives people the convenient ability to ask questions and seek advice while getting their answers almost instantly.

Getting a psychic reading online is favourable to some as it allows them to browse through a large number of different psychics, many of which specialise in certain areas, or read testimonials from previous clients.

Before connecting with a psychic, either live in person or electronically, be sure to have at least a good idea as to the type of questions you want to ask as most all will charge by the amount of time spent with you. You may want to create a list of the questions and concerns you have ahead of time in order of importance to keep yourself on track during your session.

Some people are rather surprised when their psychic begins telling them what their relationship troubles are rather than waiting to be asked for their advice about a particular matter. When this happens, you know you’ve found a reliable psychic who is definitely in tune with you. A psychic reading may be the answer you’ve been looking for to provide the peace of mind you need as well as guidance and direction.

By: Guest Contributor

For those of you who are facing issues with your online dating relationships, or partners, there are many tough choices and decisions to make – even if more so about those things that affect your intimate future. Going for a psychic reading for your dating issues can make you romance and life have a clearer direction and attitude towards life.

Very few people use or are familiar with any psychic reader for dating and romance advice, as well as the expectation that come with it. You must know the kind of expectations to expect before you can delve in this kind of affair, through preparation of your question and having more realistic goals to go with it.

It really doesn’t matter what dating, relationships or marriage questions you have, there is no psychic that is right always, while a psychic who claims to have the truth all the time lacks in genuineness.

The facts is that many individuals are always not honest with their questions, and what they are doing is to make things harder in all spheres for the psychic reader and he cannot really give you that accurate reading that you are after. Incase you withhold any information or you fail to be honest you will just make the psychic to find it hard to connect with your inner energy, which defines the dating, relationships and other questions that you might have. Be honest in your queries and straightforward in the kind of question you ask.

Psychics might not give you the kind of advice that you might need on how to go about certain situations other than to say to you about the things that might happen. It generally comes down to you to make your mind on the kind of actions you want to take so that you can avoid or make a confirmation of any issue, from dating to finance, that is related to your query.

The psychics lacks the ability to make use of the abilities that they have to affect anybody, from bringing back that lost love or dating relationship that is long gone, or sinister, put a spell or a curse on anybody.

The psychic reading has the answer for all your questions where it is possible to give you an idea of what could be happening if you trek along the same path in your life. What the psychic would not be able to do is giving you any advice or what to do.

A true psychic reader will in no certain terms can connect with that energy that you have to be able to read the things that might happen in the days and years to come. The problem is that there are usually so many fake psychics in the world who are always claiming that they are able to cast hexes, bringing back the lost love or be able to bring any effect to different people. Be on your toes. The strategic thing is to know what you want to be read for you. If it is dating, then let it be so.